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Are You Glad? Ebony Asks Black Women

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For too lengthy, African-American women and their sexual wants have been ignored. Over the a long time, media-glorified research have claimed to break new ground in regard to sexuality, however they seldom addressed the needs and considerations of African-American girls. Actually, research that addressed Black ladies usually targeted on transmission of illness.

Ebony magazine readers needed to know extra. What turns us on, what turns us off? Where will we go when now we have issues or questions? What are our main issues and concerns?

In response to the hundreds of reader queries the journal continued to get, Ebony undertook a significant study to answer a few of these questions. The survey results were printed in October 2004. The journal wished to listen to about the issues that have an effect on the standard of black ladies's lives and relationships. Ebony has commissioned Hope Ashby, Ph.D., a psychotherapist based in New York City, to assist design a groundbreaking new sex survey that delved into the hearts and sex lives of Black girls. And there are options that may lead to a healthier, extra fulfilling sex life. Ultimately, they hoped to shed some mild on personal concerns and let black ladies know that they don't seem to be alone; different women have the same problems that you simply do.

Right here, Dr. Ashby, provides some insight into Black women and sexuality.

Question: What are the sexuality issues affecting Black ladies?

Dr. Ashby: A major sexuality problem dealing with Black girls as we speak is HIV/AIDS. There is lots of misinformation or simply nonexistent details about anorgasmia, low libido, painful sex and even simple issues such because the impact of hormones on sexual functioning. One other is the lack of information accessible in our communities.

Query: Are there sexuality issues that have an effect on Black ladies extra so than different girls?

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Dr. Ashby: A continual complaint about their partners not desirous to put on condoms. Black women additionally carry up the lack to have an orgasm and low or misplaced libido as White ladies do.

Question: Are there aspects of sexuality that Black women seem to get pleasure from an advantage?

Dr. Ashby: I feel that the one benefit that Black ladies have is excessive body esteem. We tend to be more snug in our bodies, especially Black girls who're plus-dimension. Having a high body esteem helps to enhance one's sexual feelings about herself.

Question: When a Black woman has an issue with sex, the place does she go for assist and recommendation?

Dr. Ashby: Black ladies are likely to go to their friends; it is rare that they go to their doctors with sex issues as a result of they are unaware that there's assist on the market for these kind of problems. Some medical doctors are beginning to listen to their patients' sexuality complaints and learn about the realm of sexual medication. There are professionals, like myself, who focus on sexually associated points and will help.

Query: For those who are not comfortable talking to their partners, what advice do you may have?

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Dr. Ashby: First and foremost, do not select to start out having these conversations when you are about to have intercourse. Are there fantasies he wish to discover? It will be significant to start these conversations in a impartial, non-threatening place, particularly if you have not been having orgasms and you have been faking. Start by asking your companion what he thinks about your intercourse life. That's the mistaken time.

Query: How do historical past and tradition have an effect on our sexuality?

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Dr. Ashby: All through White history, Black ladies have been portrayed in two paradigms--that of Jezebel and that of "mammy." Jezebel being the slut, promiscuous girl and "mammy" being fully asexual but always passive and caretaking. This traumatic history continues to be an unconscious remnant within the lives of Black women. One other side of Black historical past that's tied to those paradigms is that as slaves Black girls had been frequently raped and sodomized by their masters, and in addition sold off from their households. This message is also pervasive in American culture. Little women are taught that intercourse is to be saved for marriage with out ever listening to any point out of enjoyment. Because Black girls have generally been looked at by these two lenses, it has been difficult for us to find center floor. It will get conveyed in a delicate method that pleasure is reserved in your accomplice and that you are the conveyer of that pleasure. How can you be a snug sexual being if you might be perceived as a slut? Thus Black women are sometimes caught between being a "good woman" (nonsexual), or a "unhealthy woman" (sexual).

Question: Why do some Black women feel bad or "soiled" about initiating intercourse with their mate?

Dr. Ashby: It is an issue of feeling they aren't entitled to pleasure and not recognizing themselves as sexual beings with needs of their own. This additionally goes back to how gifts are socialized in American society. Boys, however, are socialized to assume that they will have sex with anyone at any time and that it is their proper to take action. Some ladies are socialized to think that sex is soiled and that only dangerous things can come of it if you happen to engage in intercourse.

Question: Primarily based in your research, how do Black women feel about oral intercourse and anal intercourse?

Dr. Ashby: Black girls are more comfortable as we speak than they were just a few years in the past in giving and receiving oral sex. Anal sex is still comparatively taboo for Black girls. I often hear about male partners having problems giving oral intercourse.

Query: What can mothers do to make sure their daughters are informed about intercourse?

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Dr. Ashby: It is imperative that mothers sit down with their daughters and talk about sex and sexuality. Adolescence is a time for experimentation; adolescents query their sex appeal, whether or not they're gay, straight, or bisexual, whether oral intercourse is "intercourse," and methods to go about it. Despite the fact that the information is out there, youngsters still need and search steering from the ones they belief most--their dad and mom. Being open and sincere with your teen is vital to impacting their conduct.

Question: Are Black women in the present day more comfortable in accepting their lesbianism?

Dr. Ashby: From many conversations with my patients, plainly Black girls are far more comfortable than they have been a number of years ago about accepting their lesbianism, however it continues to be a struggle. My patients state that the African-American neighborhood still has problem accepting and coping with the gay and lesbian subpopulation. This comes with a number of challenges that White lesbians don't should face. Black lesbians are confronted with a triple handicap--being Black, feminine and a lesbian.

Question: Many ladies are concerned about whether sexual want decreases during menopause. Does it?

Dr. Ashby: The fantastic factor about being human is that we are all completely different and a few are lucky not to have a lower in sexual activities. I have seen some girls who are barely affected by the adjustments brought on by menopause and others whose lives are fully devastated by the hormonal imbalance.

Question: Why is HIV affecting Black ladies disproportionately?

Dr. Ashby: Because many are partaking in sexual exercise without condoms. If your man will not put on a condom, there are ways you may protect your self. Thirdly, abstinence is all the time an possibility till you find that someone who will respect you and your physique. First, there's a female condom obtainable; secondly, there are nonoxynol-9 spermicides that may be inserted into the vagina prior to intercourse. Many girls I see as patients say that their man will not put on a condom because it "feels" higher; or if she insists that he wears one, he accuses her of cheating. The ultimate form of caring and respect is when somebody locations your feelings and desires above their very own.

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Query: How do Black women method masturbation and intercourse toys? Are there emotions of guilt?

Dr. Ashby: Masturbation is still considerably taboo for Black women as it's seen as "dirty." My patients have mentioned they're embarrassed to seek out sex toys and really feel that shopping for them would make them appear "loose." Sex therapists have had their patients use intercourse toys either with a accomplice or alone as a method to determine what turns them on and what turns them off.

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Question: If there is one message about sexuality that you just wish to deliver to African-American women around the nation, what would that be?

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Dr. Ashby: I feel the message I would like to deliver to each African-American and African Sisters is that you are much more than disease carriers and child-makers. You're sexual beings with needs and desires, and you might be entitled to wholesome, fulfilling sexual lives, and that there's help in your sexual problems. Everyone seems to be entitled to a fulfilling sex life.

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We do it however we don't prefer to speak about it. Intercourse, that is.

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African-American girls could also be stereotyped as Lil' Kims in music movies, however for the most part, black women might be extremely prudish in the case of discussing sex.

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That's why the outcomes of a landmark intercourse survey of black ladies appearing in the October 2004 difficulty of Ebony journal positive raised a few eyebrows.

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For starters, according to the survey of 8,000 girls nationwide and abroad, brothers apparently aren't taking good care of their enterprise. When requested "How happy are you with your sex life?" 26.8 % of respondents said they had been "considerably satisfied," 13.6 % said they had been "somewhat dissatisfied," and solely 15.7 p.c of the ladies stated they were completely glad.

Even more telling, whereas "dishonest" is usually seen as a primarily male conduct, the Ebony sex survey found that 44.2 percent of the girls mentioned that they had cheated on their companions, whereas 41.Four p.c said they'd not strayed.

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The 56-question survey asked about the form of sex that almost all black girls will not even talk about with their best buddies, like what is your preferred position for sex and method of penetration. That black girls are inclined to draw back from brazenly discussing their sexuality is comprehensible.

Black girls had been objectified and sexually abused throughout slavery and the Jim Crow period. In real life, black teenage girls are being sexually assaulted by older males, together with male relations, at an alarming rate. As we speak, young black women are demeaned as sexual objects in rap lyrics and videos.

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Ebony's survey discovered that 41.9 p.c of black girls agreed with the assertion: "The stereotypical media portrayal of black women (as loose, unrestrained, bossy) has had a adverse affect on our sexual development." And about 37 percent of respondents said they had a history of sexual abuse.

But the "ready-at-the-drop-of-a-hat" black woman is basically a myth.

Based on the Ebony survey, although 59.7 percent of black women said "masturbation is healthy and normal," 25.3 p.c of these ladies stated they by no means masturbate. When requested: "How often do you expertise orgasm?" 22 p.c mentioned "fairly often," 25.2 % mentioned "typically," 26.4 % mentioned "sometimes," and 18.4 p.c said "from time to time."

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"This was a difficulty that we wanted to deal with," said Lynn Norment, Ebony's managing editor. "I have carried out dozens of relationship tales over the years and i noticed the necessity. There's been intercourse surveys about girls on the whole, but black girls were almost a footnote in those surveys. I believed it was time for us to give attention to black women and the issues that we face in our lives."

The survey was carried out online. Obviously, an online survey gave respondents a variety of privacy. But some respondents mailed their responses to Ebony. Nonetheless, there are indications that respondents have been uncomfortable answering some questions.

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As an example, consider the subject of oral sex.

Only 2.7 % of girls surveyed admitted giving oral sex, whereas 11.6 p.c stated they had been recipients of oral sex, and a whopping 82.1 percent claimed both parties engaged in oral intercourse. However when requested: "How typically do you expertise oral intercourse?", 16.9 p.c mentioned very often; 29 percent said "usually;" 21.9 p.c mentioned seldom; and 24.4 percent of the respondents stated "typically."

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I can not show this, but 2.7 percent seems an terrible small quantity for givers. What that tiny number says to me is oral sex is still so taboo within the black group, most black girls still will not admit to giving oral intercourse without getting it too.

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Many of the respondents reside in the South (37.9 percent), are school graduates (52.7 p.c) and have never been married (50.2 percent).

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"I am a minister's daughter," mentioned Hope Ashby, the new York City- primarily based intercourse therapist who helped Ebony formulate the sex survey. "My mother is a Southern belle, and we did not focus on these items. That is why this is sort of great. Black girls deal with the same points as white girls. We aren't having as much intercourse as we would want, and when we are having intercourse, we aren't being sexually satisfied," she stated.

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Given the "down low" phenomenon -- that's, black men who've sex with women however don't determine themselves as gay or disclose to their female companions that they also have sex with males -- I was surprised Ebony didn't ask outright about condom use.

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Forty-eight percent of respondents stated they have been very concerned about "brothers on the down low," 16.5 percent stated they were "somewhat involved," and 27.Three % mentioned they weren't involved.

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"What we didn't wish to do was alienate folks from answering the questions," Ashby said. "Being in your face about it makes individuals go the other way and not need to discuss it."

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Hopefully, Ebony's sex survey will soar-begin the real dialog.

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1. How happy are you along with your intercourse life? Should you have any kind of questions with regards to exactly where and tips on how to make use of Schnataa Huge Tits Pics, you possibly can e mail us at our own web-page.

Fully happy 15.77%

Mostly happy 25.42

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Somewhat happy 26.85

Considerably dissatisfied 13.62

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Principally dissatisfied 9.09

Fully dissatisfied 9.25

2. How typically do you engage in sexual intercourse?

Each day 6.36

Once per week or more 41.Sixty four

Once a month 11.Sixty nine

Two or 3 times a month 23.31

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As soon as or twice a year 9.05

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Not at all 7.Ninety five

3. How often would you wish to have sex?

Each day 32.01

Once every week or more 58.04

As soon as a month 1.79

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Two or 3 times a month 6.22

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Once or twice a year 0.44

Lower than once a 12 months 0.18

Not in any respect 1.32

4. How typically do you expertise orgasm?

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Very often 22.07

Usually 25.23

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Generally 26.Forty three

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Occasionally 18.41

Never 7.86

5. Have you ever ever cheated on your companion?

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Yes 44.23

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No 41.Forty seven

Thought-about it, but didn't 14.29

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The survey included 8,000 black girls, most of whom answered questions on-line. Some mailed responses to Ebony. The survey was conducted between March 8 and April 30, 2004.

APA Reference
Workers, H. (2021, December 17). Are You Satisfied? Ebony Asks Black Ladies, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, March 27 from https://www.healthyplace.com/sex/women/are-you-glad-ebony-asks-black-ladies

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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WHAT DOES WHERE TO MEET BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN DO?

What Does Where To Meet Beautiful Black Woman Do?